Planet Fitness — No Critics Allowed!

I just joined Planet Fitness. It was inevitable since Bryna became a member of the recently-opened Hingham branch a few months ago. The Hingham rec department has a low-cost gym which I used to go to but for about the same price ($10 a month!) I can work out without feeling like I’m in someone’s cellar.

If you’re not familiar with it, Planet Fitness is a wildly popular, ever-growing franchise of gyms. In other words, it’s the opposite of main-line denominations.

I’d never stepped foot in a Planet Fitness but the first thing that strikes you is the color scheme. If you can’t abide purple and yellow while pumping your legs on the elliptical machine, don’t bother. It’s omnipresent. I’m sure market research drove this choice as it seems to have driven the entire Planet Fitness experience. In fact the whole vibe of the place feels contrived and driven by polling — much like the Romney campaign.

With the decor and the not-so-subtle messages on the walls, you can almost imagine the responses: “I want a gym where I don’t feel like people are staring at me; I want a gym without grunting, skull cap wearing, muscle-shirt wearing power lifters; I want a gym wear I can watch flat screen TVs and listen to my i-Pod; I want a gym where people don’t sweat so much as perspire.”

Now, the place works for me. I don’t need to listen to Megadeath while I pump iron (and I use that term loosely) or have some guy yelling at me to just “Push through the pain!” But there’s an odd sense of forced community indicative of the slogans plastered around the place.

Their catch phrase “Judgement Free Zone” is painted in huge letters on the walls of the gym. In fact this slogan is even trademarked (and, some would argue, is spelled wrong). I’m not sure how this applies to a health club. I’ve never had anyone come up to me, look at the mileage on the treadmill, and say “Four miles? That’s pathetic. You’re a worm and no man.” But maybe this is geared toward the overweight newbies who are taking the daring step of joining a gym but fear they’ll have fellow exercisers whispering behind their backs. Again, I’ve been a member of myriad gyms over the years and I’ve found most people are too busy working out to care about anyone else’s routine.

Ironically enough, you could argue that Planet Fitness is the antithesis of a “judgement free zone.” If you are a serious body builder, you’re clearly not welcome. There’s a dress code for one thing. And if you grunt too loudly or drop your weights after your set, you’ll set off the “Lunk Alarm” and be asked to leave.  This is why there are blogs out there called  “Planet Fitness Sucks.” Scratch the surface of some of the comments and you’ll quickly see that a class war is at the heart of the anger.

The other sign you’ll encounter is “No critics.” Evidently Roger Ebert, if he ever found his way to an exercise bike, wouldn’t be welcome. Again, I’m not sure who’s judging and criticizing people at gyms across America, but this seems to be a big fear among potential gym members.

I’ll plan to enjoy working out at Planet Fitness — it’s clean, comfortable, and convenient. The vaguely Orwellian signs don’t bother me that much and I just plan to keep my head down and ignore the slogans which feel more like ground rules for a youth group than anything else. And who knows? The contrarian in me just might start making snap judgments about those around me. I don’t think they can kick me out for my thoughts.

Horrible Marathon Photos…

…that I won’t be ordering.

Click on the link below to view thumbnails taken by the official Providence Marathon photographers. Click on the thumbnails to view larger versions and you’ll see why I’m taking a pass on these. The pictures with the orange cones show me sprinting toward the finish and are particularly unflattering. But, then, I guess it’s how you’d imagine I’d look after running 26.(nearly)2 miles. 

http://www.capstonephotostore.com/searchresult.php

And if this doesn’t work for you, click here and type in my Bib Number: 420. That’s racing bib, not because I drool while I run.

The Day After

I’m sore this morning. Grunting every time I descend another stair sore. Hobbling around like a 98-year-0ld man sore. And if experience holds I’ll be even sorer the day after the day after the marathon. Here’s a hilarious (and brief) video titled “The Day After the Marathon” which will give you a sense of how I’m feeling today.

Of course I’m not complaining — the aches and pains are reminders of a great day at the Providence Marathon. I ran the 26.2 miles in 4 hours, 9 minutes, and 59 seconds, shaving nearly 11 minutes off my previous best time, while averaging a 9:32 pace per mile.

Having only run marathons in major cities (Baltimore, Chicago, Boston) with thousands of other runners, this was a much more intimate experience (think 700 runners versus 30,000). Which has its advantages and disadvantages. Since we stayed at the host hotel, I was able to walk out my room 20 minutes before the race to get to the starting line. And on the other end Bryna, Ben, and Zack were able to watch me cross the finish line. Of course they all refused to hug me in my post-marathon state.

The real difference was in the crowd support. In Boston, the marathon is held every April on Patriots’ Day which, if you’ve ever lived in Beantown, is one giant party. There are literally people lined up on the course the entire way from the small towns at the start to the screaming women of Wellesley to the undergrads at Boston College urging you up Heartbreak Hill to Boyleston Street. If you feed off the energy of the crowds (and if you don’t, I’d need to check your pulse), it makes a big difference in those last few miles.

In Providence there were some folks at the beginning and some at the very end. In between it was pretty quiet — you’d see the occasional group holding up a “Go Jen Go” sign or hear someone ringing a lonely cow bell. And at one point I heard someone yell to a friend “You go, girl!” — and I pretended they were rooting for me. But a smaller marathon really forces you inward, which can be a tough place to be when you begin to encounter (and hopefully overcome) The Wall.

One of the most rewarding things about the whole experience was raising over $2,100 for Episcopal Relief & Development. For me, raising money for charity while running a marathon adds a whole layer of meaning. It also allows me to use what is, in essence, a very self-focused activity to help others. And, not wanting to deny anyone the chance to donate, there’s still time! http://www.firstgiving.com/frtim. And if you already have givien to the cause, thank you — it means a tremendous amount to me and to those in extreme need throughout the world.

I’ll be hobbling around the next several days but it’s always worth it. As Lance Armstrong likes to say, “The pain is temporary; quitting lasts forever.”

The Glorious Taper

When most people (at least in church circles) think of “tapers” they envision beeswax candles, acolytes, and high altars. For marathoners the taper is something entirely different, though no less holy.

I’ve reached that vaulted stage of marathon training known as “The Taper.” Most of the mileage is behind me and I can now focus on letting my body heal and gain strength for race day. In my case, the Providence Marathon in Rhode Island on May 3rd.

The taper is all about easing off on the training and bumping up the rest. Oh, and eating lots of carbs. My favorite! While marathoners differ on the specifics of the taper, most look like what I’m doing this year: 22 miles three weeks before the race, 12 miles two weeks before (I did this today), 8 miles the week before, then 26.2 miles on race day. Those are the weekend “long runs” — shorter runs get mixed in during the last three weeks as well plus cross-training.

The problem is that marathoners never quite know what to do with themselves while tapering. We’re exercising less, eating more, and getting the pre-race jitters. This is a bad combination. Especially for our spouses who must put up with us in this state. Bryna usually just sends me to the refrigerator to eat something or drink some Gatorade if I start to drive her nuts.

There’s great freedom in the taper because there’s nothing else you can really do. If you’ve trained hard and prepared correctly, the marathon will take care of itself. The fact is, you can’t “cram” for an endurance race. You’re either prepared or you’re not. It’s the difference between “Godspeed” and “God’s judgment.”

But I find that there’s also a great sense of peace that takes over during the taper — since there’s nothing else I can do besides short workouts and annoying Bryna, I can let it all go. Sure, I’ll be anxious in the days leading up to the race but there’s nothing more I can do to get myself ready at this point. And that’s a nice feeling after the hundreds and hundreds of miles I’ve run to get to this point.

So, the taper continues. And here’s one (probably not) final plug to help me raise money for Episcopal Relief & Development: Donate now! Click here!

26.2 or Bust

With the President of Tufts following the 2008 Boston Marathon

Boy, is it easy to sign up to run a marathon. You go to the website, click “register,” type in your info inculding your credit card number for the registration fee, and presto! You’re in. It’s only later, as you’re slogging through mile 17 of a training run in the pouring rain that the buyer’s remorse kicks in. But by then it’s too late. You’ve already told your family and friends that you’re running it so the potential shame alone keeps you going.

For me, the hardest part about running a marathon isn’t race day. Despite a few close encounters with “The Wall,” the marathon itself isn’t the toughest piece. It’s the training. It’s the four-month mileage buildup to make sure you can make it to the finish line. That’s the part that no one sees. Unless you’re the spouse of a marathoner and you’re used to getting woken up at oh-dark-thirty by your clumsy runner-husband who trips over his shoes in the dark. Speaking of which, here’s a great article on the subject of crazy runners that my sister-in-law forwarded to Bryna.

I always figure if I can make it to the starting line in relatively good health, I’ll be fine. That hasn’t always been the case but I’m feeling good these days as I train for the Providence Marathon in May. I ran 15 miles last Saturday and will continue to slowly build up the mileage. It will be my fourth marathon (Baltimore, Chicago, Boston) and, as I did for Boston last April, I’m excited to be raising money for a good cause. (Best thing about running Boston? Blessing the students from BC yelling out “Go Father Tim!” as I climbed up Heartbreak Hill — here’s that story.)

This time I’m raising funds for Episcopal Relief & Development, the Church’s global outreach ministry. They do amazing work all over the world in areas of greatest need. So, if you’re so inclined, you can support me in this endeaver by going to my fundraising website. Chip in a few bucks, add a comment, and I’ll be eternally grateful. Or at least grateful until the next time I run a marathon for a cause at which time I’ll hit you up again.