Archnemesis Reloaded

While I decided to give up alcohol for Lent, that was a piece of (chocolate) cake compared to my real Lenten discipline: Giving up my archnemesis. Not only did I have to be civil to Scott Gunn for a seemingly endless 40 days and 40 nights, I had to be in touch nearly every day to collaborate on Lent Madness.

To mark the end of our seasonal detente, on Easter Eve I even had to amend the following prayer at  the Great Paschal Vigil:

Through the Paschal mystery, dear friends, we are buried with Christ by Baptism into his death, and raised with him to newness of life. I call upon you, therefore, now that our Lenten observance is ended, and I have regained my archnemesis, to renew the solemn promises and vows of Holy Baptism, by which we once renounced Satan, Scott Gunn, and their combined works, and promised to serve God faithfully in his holy Catholic Church.

Just as the women at the tomb on that first Easter morning didn’t leap up and start singing “Jesus Christ is Risen Today” but came into their joy gradually as the reality of the Resurrection began to sink in, so will I bide my time before firing off a salvo. There’s no hurry. Living into an archnemesian rivalry is all about endurance; it’s a war of attrition. You brush off the petty liturgical and homiletical insults, while recognizing that your archnemesis has neither altar nor pulpit of his own, and fortify your arsenal for the long haul of bitter conflict.

What will spark the next explosion? That remains to be seen. But I am thrilled that our Lenten fast has ended and the world has returned to rights. The disequilibrium of cooperation has been the true cross to bear.


3 Comments on “Archnemesis Reloaded”

  1. Patsy says:

    Archnemesian? Oh my.

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I’m hazarding the guess that your decision to cancel your truce might be inspired by the experience of Perry the Platypus and his archnemesis Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz from the animated series “Phineas and Ferb.” If not, I suggest you try to locate the episode in which Perry and Dr. D decide to team up, and find that neither can live without the other or their beloved rivalry. I don’t have time today to try to locate the episode, having only seen it once with bored 10-, 9- and 6-year-olds in a vacation cabin, but perhaps this link can help: http://phineasandferb.wikia.com/wiki/Perry_the_Platypus

    If you are not familiar with it, I think you will find it instructive, if not inspiring, for conducting your eternal struggle with Scott, or at least for sermons during slow news periods.

    P.S. I think you will also see a passing physical resemblance between you two humans and the animated archenemeses.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    By that I mean you as the dastardly Perry, and Scott as that cool drink of (poisoned) water, Dr. D, before he learned that black clothing makes us all look hip.


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