Priestly Haunts

I just returned from one of those temporary Halloween stores that pop up this time of year. After wandering around the store for 45 minutes (and spending $74.39 on about $10 worth of costumes for the boys), I left with a couple of observations.

First, where has the imagination gone? “Clever” costume ideas that have purchased at a Halloween Super Store are simply not clever. Dressing up as a Kissing Booth would be amusing if you conceived of the concept and then put it together by cutting up some cardboard boxes. Paying $75 for a pre-packaged Kissing Booth kit is lame.

Second, why is every costume aimed at adult females so…slutty? Seriously. The ladies section appears to assume that every woman over the age of 18 has a deep-seated fantasy to be a randy nurse. Or cat woman. Or the St. Pauli Girl.

Finally, what is it with all the priest costumes? I get the pregnant nun (okay, not really) but who in their right mind would want to dress up as a priest? One year I went as Father Mulcahy from MASH for a TVLand-themed Halloween party but…I am a priest!

Here are some samples of what’s out there:

There are lots of “clerical collars” on the market. At $5.99 this one is a lot cheaper than what you’d pay at Wippell’s. And it also claims to be “flame retardant” which, I guess, comes in handy when preaching those fire and brimstone sermon.



This “Bible” is actually a hidden flask that comes with the “Holy Hammered” priest’s costume. Sure, many clergy over the years have been known to take a nip in the sacristy but this just might border on the sacrilegious.



Um, “We are not worthy to gather up the crumbs under thy table?” If I ever dress Delilah up as a priest, please petition the bishop to have me defrocked. Thank you.

Good luck choosing your costume this Halloween. I haven’t decided on mine but, given the boys’ gruesome choices, I may simply be ‘victim.’

And, finally, if you must go as a priest, you can always go with the classic: Father Guido Sarducci.


8 Comments on “Priestly Haunts”

  1. Klamach says:

    A few years ago (before I returned to the faith), I taped a 1×1 square of white cardboard in the middle of my black mock turtleneck collar and went as a Roman priest for free!

  2. Clare Hickman says:

    Of course, they don’t make a priest costume for women, which is why there is no “slutty priest” costume (something which would masterfully combine tart AND vicar … a look I aspire to every single Sunday! 🙂 ).

  3. Father Tim says:

    Clare, the “Tart and Vicar” sounds like a wonderful name for a pub in Oxford.

  4. Bob Chapman says:

    Where can I click “like” for your reference to the Prayer of Humble Access?

  5. Father Tim says:

    Thanks for noticing, Bob.

  6. Adam Trambley says:

    The first year after I was ordained, I went as a lay person for Halloween — I found I had all the costume needs already in my closet.

  7. Sarah Brockmann says:

    I think the flame retardance is for when the wearer is struck by lightning.
    Seriously, if you need costume ideas, talk to me. I got you.

  8. Sarah Brockmann says:

    And “the Tart and Vicar” is a BRILLIANT name for a pub!

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