Please Don’t Trip the Clergy

The problem with taking Mondays off is that it gives me time to come up with ridiculous ideas for blog posts. This week? Eight things to be thankful for in light of Week 14 of the NFL season.

1. The roof of the church didn’t collapse, thereby forcing us to have services on Monday night in Detroit.

2. No one from an opposing church tripped me as I was processing down the aisle in a purple cope for Lessons and Carols.

3. I did not receive a concussion during coffee hour after being sandwiched between two elderly parishioners.

4. I do not have an overweight, loud-mouthed, sweater vest-wearing bishop who talks trash to the media but can’t back it up with soaring diocesan-wide attendance figures.

5. With the furnace working, I did not have to ply my trade in windy, sub-Nordic “Bear weather.” And, anyway, I performed a whole lot better than said Bears.

6. My promising young curate from California (San Mateo) preached a great sermon for St. John’s unlike the performance of a promising young quarterback from California (USC) for the Jets (see number four).

7. There was no drama about a consecutive eucharist streak and whether or not I could elevate the chalice even with an extra day off (see number one).

8. I believe that, given my glory days as captain of a lousy high school soccer team, even I could kick an extra point. And probably so could Mike Shanahan. The church equivalent would be me not having the strength to break the priest’s host at the fraction.

Well, that’s all I have. Fortunately for everyone the kids just got off the bus.


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