In light of Goose Gate 2010 I’ve been given a bird’s eye (so to speak) view of the state of public discourse. At least the anonymous online variety. And it’s neither pretty nor spelled correctly. Below, I’ll share some of the comments that I’ve encountered that relate to me and the church. But first, rather than type it over and over again I’m giving one giant (SIC) to cover the multitude of grammatical sins. Of course this list doesn’t include the talk radio program where I was called a “goose-hugging liberal.” But at least they pronounced my name correctly. Enjoy!

“Reverend, get over it. Hopefully these children – its always the children – will grow up to be hunters instead of liberal thumbsuckers.”
“The Rev. Schenck, I guess, and all the poor traumatized children are vegetarians?”
“to bad they dont allow nude swimming or sun bathing in ma that would send the religious hypocrites running back indoors.”
“They’re all going to hell anyway for not having church in a church, where church is meant to be had… heathens.”

“You guys hunting on the beach hunting should have complained that because you’re Catholic, you were offended there was an Episcopal service going on! Then the other hunter could play the Atheist and file for a law that eliminates all religeous services from the beach because it’s offensive and an act of forcing religon on you while hunting!!”

From the younger of the two hunters involved: “I’m glad he registered our dirty looks, wasn’t sure if he could seem ‘um while sniffing the other parishioners farts… Do they do winter “Preach on the Beaches.” I’d love to have another shot of me in something alittle winter camo-ie!!!!”

“Someone should have informed the Rev. Shank, that this is the south shore – not Cambridge, (notwithstanding the leftie liberal Higgum blow ins – who would rather name a school after a career hack than a Medal of Honor recipient)”
“Maybe you should take out a restraining order against Remington and Mossberg. Sounds reasonable. Gotta keep these big scary guns far away from neutered liberals like yourself.” 
“Who does this Pastor think he is to take over a public beach to proffer his religion.” 

“I am guessing the Rev knew their was hunting that day and did this deliberately. If someone asks you Rev, remember it’s wrong to lie” 

“Please let the Rev. know, his soap box is rotting beneath him. Know your facts and pick your battles…” 

“Just looking at that blurry photo of the two hunters taken from the good Reverend’s ‘alter’. Looks to me like he has goblet, and what looks like a carafe of sacramental wine’. I hope it’s not wine. Public drinking is an abomination.” 

“You, Reverend Schenk, should be ashamed of yourself for your irresponsible and ignorant comments.”

9 Comments on “(SIC)”

  1. Bob Chapman says:

    Fr. Tim, that’s sick!

    (Just practicing. Ski season is coming up. Not that I ski, but I have to talk to the locals.)

  2. I do so love this country, our 1st Amendment, free press and technology that makes the vox of the hoi polloi so wonderfully accessible. That noted, I’m tempted to shoot those who cannot spell.

  3. Mary W. Cox says:

    Oh, dear–don’t know whether to laugh or weep; the sheer venom and boundless ignorance are dismaying, but most of this gives me the giggles anyway.

    And I’m actually rather taken with the poetic cadences of: “…not having church in a church, where church is meant to be had…”

  4. Mary W. Cox says:

    OK–Goose-Gate, a poem:

    Oh, we’re taking dead aim at the altar
    that those heathens have parked on the beach;
    they are willfully praying,
    while bullets are spraying,
    but we’ve got a lesson to teach!

    There’s that goose-hugging, liberal reverend,
    who’s opposing our God-given right
    to shoot any wild creature
    that lands on the beach, or
    to blast any goose that takes flight.

    You can’t trust those Episcopal preachers—
    they will call it Good News, but it’s BAD—
    for in hell you will perch
    if you’re not having church
    in a church, where it’s meant to be had!

    (Can you tell it’s getting close to deadline time here?)

  5. Father Rich says:

    The comments were so sad…I think you should design a frontal for your beach altar with Geese on it, or at least Pelicans.

  6. Father Tim says:

    Mary, you are brilliant. I was expecting a haiku but you’ve outdone even yourself!

  7. […] Yesterday I posted a number of anonymous online comments relating to Goose Gate highlighting the state of public […]

  8. Sarah Brockmann says:

    Mary’s poem was BRILLIANT! Well done!

  9. Solange De Santis says:

    Mary, you are awesome.

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