A Jelly Bean Wars Truce?Posted: April 9, 2010
I’m calling for a truce in what history will remember as the Jelly Bean Wars. It started innocently enough with the Jelly Bean Prayer and my Anglicanized version. Then Fr. Scott Gunn — blogging colleague, pseudo-Bay Stater, and former friend — upped the ante with a Catholic version which called into question the smells and bells of my piety. I responded in kind with the Holier Than Thou version which smeared Fr. Gunn and accused him of seeking a purple shirt (a truly low and false blow, I freely admit). And that only unleashed more of Fr. Gunn’s diabolical genius with a new version that somehow rhymed the words vernacular and craptacular.
So I’m calling for a truce. The damage has been done — I’ll never again be able to eat a simple jelly bean without recalling the mayhem of the Jelly Bean Wars. And besides, I can’t think of any other creative use for the color orange.