All-Churchy NFL Team

In honor of the upcoming Super Bowl, I offer you the All-Churchy Team. These football greats (and grunts) all have one thing in common besides the gridiron: ecclesiastical/Biblical names. More or less.

I have broken this down into several categories:


Blaine Bishop, Safety — Titans

Priest Holmes, Running Back Ravens — Chiefs

Deacon Jones, Defensive End — Rams

Art Monk, Wide Receiver — Redskins

Leonard Pope, Tight End — Chiefs

Freddie Joe Nunn, Defensive End — Cardinals


Art (Baptismal) Shell, Tackle — Raiders

Randy Cross, Center — 49ers

Roscoe Parrish, Wide Receiver — Bills

Jack Christiansen, Defensive Back– Lions

Dan Carpenter, Kicker — Dolphins

Corey (Holly and the) Ivy, Cornerback — Ravens

Demetrius (Church) Bell, Tackle — Bills


Reggie (Burning) Bush, Running Back — Saints

Deion (Olive) Branch, Wide Receiver — Patriots, Seahawks

Kerry Rhodes (to Damascus), Safety — Jets

Antonio Pierce (Jesus’ side), Linebacker — Giants

Ronnie Lott(‘s wife), Cornerback — 49ers

Ed (A Bruised) Reed (He Will Not Break), Safety — Ravens

Bart Starr (of Bethlehem), Quarterback — Packers

I trust that this will eliminate my need to add football metaphors into Sunday’s sermon.


2 Comments on “All-Churchy NFL Team”

  1. Warren says:

    How about Ebenezer Ekuban, Elijah Pitts (prophet and of Sheol), Adam Vinatieri, Aaron Rodgers, and Isaac Bruce?

    And many more, I’m sure! Thanks, this is fun.

  2. Father Tim says:

    Good ones, Warren. No doubt we could have a whole Prophetic “line.”

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