Episcopal Idol

chantmadesimple4I didn’t win a Grammy Award last night. And I’m pissed. Granted they don’t have a “Liturgical” category but I can sing the Sursum Corda with the best of ’em. And evensong? I rock.

Perhaps they should have an Episcopal Idol for clergy. All the contestants would be sitting in the green room in their chasubles or dalmatics. One by one they’d come out, stand in front of an altar and start singing. The audience (or, as I like to call it, the congregation) could boo as yet another deacon butchers the Exsultet. Or wince as the arrogant cardinal rector chants the Collect for Easter to the Mozarabic tone like a dying seal.  And rejoice as the simple, unsung, small town country parson wows them with a masterful rendition of Suffrages B.

I’m not sure who would judge the proceedings. Someone in a pointy hat I presume along with a finicky organist — those are a dime a dozen. The winner would get a recording contract to cut a live album called “Why is There No Ccollect to Sing in Prayer C?” with the choir at the National Cathedral. And be eligible for a Grammy.


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