Shred FestPosted: January 14, 2009
Bryna bought herself a shredder recently. I’m not really sure why and I have yet to see her shred anything. But there it sits underneath her desk. When questioned about the purchase she mumbles something about credit card numbers and identify theft. Even in this economy, I’d like to meet the fool who wants to steal the identity of a clergy family.
But having a shredder in the house does make me ponder what I might be able to shred. In the same way owning a chainsaw would make me ponder what I could saw through. Of course since Bryna won’t let me purchase a chainsaw, there’s clearly a double standard at work.
I don’t have any confidential documents that I’m aware of. I guess I could shred a dollar bill just to see what it looks like. If my mom had one of these when I was a kid I could have shredded that report card where I got a D in shop.
I will admit it’s kind of comforting having a shredder in the house. Just knowing that at any given moment I could destroy one of the boys’ corrected spelling tests gives me a sense of power. And I associate the shredder with other household items I want: a wall safe hidden behind a picture — like in Magnum PI. A fake book case that goes into a secret passageway — like in Scooby-Do.
I should probably talk about the shredder in a sermon sometime; it would make a great pulpit prop. I’d ask people to write down their sins on pieces of paper and then shred them all. Making the point about God’s grace and forgiveness.
But in the meantime I’ll keep my eyes open for something to shred. And I’m also going to be a bit more wary of Bryna — for all I know she has a secret double-life as an international spy.