Throwback Ugly

NFL throwback jerseys have officially become a pet peeve of mine. I’m watching the Jets today. Go Green? Um, not with those old New York Titans uniforms. They look more like the Steelers (minus the Super Bowl rings). Does anyone even remember the Titans? And I’m not referring to the movie of the same name.

Each week some team trots out some dated unis in an attempt, one can only imagine, at selling more merchandise. The worst were the socks recently worn by the Denver Broncos. They looked like something worn by psychedelic clowns. Even the refs have gotten into the coyote ugly act.

But the throwback trend did get me thinking about what this might look in other professions. For Episcopal clergy, of course, every Sunday is throwback day. Clerical vestments haven’t changed much over the past couple of millenia. Sure there’s the fiddleback chasuble which you don’t see much anymore. And the maniple which you generally only see on a Christus Rex. Since we all know Jesus wore fancy vestments made exclusively in England.

But what about the military? Do you think soldiers wear suits of armor on throwback day in Afghanistan while tracking down the Taliban? Or do cab drivers pull out the old horse and buggy once a year? Of course not. Because that would be absurd. Not as ugly as NFL throwback jerseys, but absurd.

Lion King

Christians have a conflicted relationship with lions. “”The lion shall lie down with the lamb” is Isaiah’s soaring image of hope. The early Christians being thrown to the lions at the Coliseum? Not so good.

Of course Isaiah actually said ”The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.” (Isaiah 11). Contrary to popular belief, there’s no lion and lamb lying together in the Bible. But in any case it’s a powerful image for the potential people of faith together hold.

Which brings us to the NFL’s Detroit Lions who won a game yesterday for the first time since December 23, 2007. They broke a 19-game losing streak by beating the Washington Redskins 19-14. On the surface, it was a meaningless game between two hapless franchises. But on another level, you couldn’t help but be thrilled for the Lions players — especially the ones who endured all 19 of those losses.

I watched the end of the game with Ben and Zack yesterday afternoon and the three of us had fun rooting for the Lions to finally win one. Sure, everybody loves an underdog (at least any red-blooded American). But this transcended the stereotype. To me it was about the amount of suffering one person or one team can or should endure. It’s hard to go on living without hope. And we all know people who always seem to be getting metaphorically kicked to the ground. It makes you wonder why — is it simply their destiny? Does God not like them for some reason? How can they break this cycle?

The Lions showed us that the way to break through is to simply keep showing up. The hope lies in picking yourself up off the turf and going at it again. Sure, it helps if you’re being paid a lot of money to keep showing up. But it’s still a lesson for all of us when we’re in the midst of our own personal 19-game losing streaks.

It was an amazing sight watching some of these huge men weep following the final whistle. I’m pretty certain God couldn’t care less about the outcome of a football game. But maybe it was time to offer a bit of hope to the long-suffering football fans in Detroit.

Walking on Air (McNair)

Ben wearing his McNair jersey at Ravens Stadium

During the recent spate of celebrity deaths, one hit my family harder than the others. No, not Billy Mays — we don’t own a salad shooter. Not even Michael Jackson — for my money his career peaked with the Jackson Five. It was Steve McNair, former Super Bowl quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens and Tennessee Titans.

You see we’re huge Ravens fans in our family. It’s the only sports team we all agree on. Come game day you’ll find the Schencks decked out in purple from head to toe (literally — Bryna gave me a pair of Ravens socks last Christmas). Bryna — who has a thing for Ravens kicker Matt Stover — wears her Ravens fleece; I put on my Ray Lewis jersey (he was found innocentof that 2000 murder charge); and the boys don their Steve McNair #9 jerseys.

Ben and Zack’s awareness of and passion for Ravens football coincided with McNairs’ first year as the Ravens’ quarterback. And when you’re a kid who else will you attach yourself to if not the QB? So he quickly became the boys’ favorite player in 2006 when he led them to a 13-3 record. It helped that we went to a game in Baltimore that year watching McNair and the Ravens beat Michael Vick and the Atlanta Falcons in a dogfight (okay, bad analogy).

When we received news of McNair’s death Bryna and I were stunned. And it meant a difficult conversation with Ben and Zack — I didn’t want them to hear it on Sports Center. So I sat them down and told them I had some “news” for them. I told them that Steve McNair had died and they processed it by asking a lot of questions. There was little information at that time except for the detail that he’d been shot. We’ve continued to talk about how as a person he made some poor choices but that it didn’t diminish his greatness on the football field or the charity work he did off it.

Still, when your kids’ heroes are professional athletes these days, you ending up having lots of similar conversations. I had another one — not quite as dramatic — when Alex Rodriguez, one of their favorite players, admitted to taking steroids. I just keep trying to affirm the humanity of these guys even as we can respect what they do on the diamond or gridiron.

This all highlights the importance of parental involvement, other adult role models, and a community of faith in the lives of our children. If athletes and actors provide the sole path of enlightenment, we’re headed down a pretty dark corridor.

May Steve McNair, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all rest in peace.

Super Crank

Get it? Super BOWL?

The Super Bowl makes children Super Cranky the next day. The Pittsburgh public schools were opening on a two-hour delay this morning. I think that should become a universal proclamation. At least in years where the game goes down to the wire. How could I, as a responsible father, have possibly told the kids to go to sleep when the winning touchdown was scored with 35 seconds left? But Monday morning and a bedtime pushing 11 pm makes for a poisonous combination.

On morning like these I’m tempted to change the words of the classic Rick James song “Super Freak” to “Super Crank.”  “The boys are super cranks; the boys are super cranks; they are super cranky.” Because that pretty much sums it up .

It was worth it though. They’ll be fine once they get to school and can brag about being all0wed to stay up to watch the whole game. Of course homework time could be a disaster this afternoon. I may need to take a nap to prepare myself. 

We did have a nice time yesterday — hung out with friends who just happen to have a big screen TV. And make no mistake; Super Bowl Sunday is a national holiday. You can debate what that says about American culture. But I’d support legislation making it a three-day weekend. Why not? It would prevent all those people from having to call in “sick” on Super Bowl Monday. And I’m all for anything that would reduce my own household’s crank factor.

The Agony of Defeat

Not a pretty scene at the Schenck house last night. The moment Troy Polamalu intercepted that pass to ice the Steelers’ victory in the AFC Championship Game, bedlam ruled. And not in a good way. Zack started crying, then Ben took over. The raw emotion of pent-up edge-of-your-seat nerves came bursting forth like a purple volcano. Anger, disappointment, frustration — it all came spewing out. I just felt like I got slugged in the gut.

This is what happens when you’re passionate about your sports teams. Though the fact that the game ended an hour and a half past their bedtime only added to the intensity of the outburst. I’m frankly glad they care so much — it’s something we share. And the lessons about loyalty and jubilation (winning the first two playoff games) and disappointment are important. Coming out of an environment where, at least when they’re younger, the youth sports motto is “everybody’s a winner” it’s a reality check. Because only one of the two teams will be going to the Super Bowl. And this year, it’s not ours.

When the boys were yelling and screaming and carrying on last night Bryna kept telling them “It’s just a game.” And while she’s ultimately correct, to sports fanatics it’s much more than a game. It’s a way of life. So I talked them off the ledge and affirmed their very powerful emotions. Even while chastising them for some of their “inappropriate” language. I hate to say it’s a “guy thing” but part of it may be.

This morning they were pretty much over it — or at least had the loss in perspective. Ben declared that he wouldn’t be watching Sports Center and he later told me what a great season the Ravens had. After swearing off the Ravens in the heat of everything last night, Zack pulled his Ravens jersey out of the hamper to wear.

I’m ready for baseball season.

Ravens Mania

The family that roots together, stays together. I’m not sure if statistics bear this out but it seems to work for the ravenous Ravens fans in the Schenck household.  I don’t actually mean we’re hungry — “ravenous” just seemed like good alliteration.

The Ravens are the one sports team we all agree upon. Despite my best efforts, moving to New York when they were three and one turned my infidel children into Yankee fans. The Orioles welcome mat my mother gave me for Christmas this year? They turned it over and told me to get it out of the house. So it now sits in front of my office door at church. A few parishioners have threatened to withdraw their pledges if I don’t remove it.

But when it comes to football we’re a sight to behold. The last two weekends the Ravens have won playoff games — against Miami and Tennessee. And we’ve been stretched out on the couch wearing lots of purple. Bryna in her Ravens fleece, me in my Ray Lewis jersey, and the boys in their Steve McNair shirts. What can I say? McNair’s retired and we haven’t been willing to pony up the $80 (each) for Joe Flacco jerseys they’ll outgrow in a few months.

The boys’ love of the Ravens was sealed when we had the opportunity to visit the Ravens practice facility a few years ago. A well-connected parishioner who does legal work for the NFL Players Association set this up and it waas amazing. We got to attend a closed practice — Ben and Zack were the only kids there — and they loaded up on autographs after the team was done. I’ll never forget watching players standing on line to sign for them. I even got to shake hands with former coach Brian Billick and tight end Todd Heap. Ben and Zack got high fives from Ed Reed. I still haven’t washed my hand.

Then there’s Bryna who has also become a huge Ravens fan. Much of this has to do with her obsession with kicker Matt Stover (who had the game-winning kick against the Titans). She’s smitten. You’ve never seen someone get as excited over the kicking of an extra point.

But it’s been a lot of fun and a great ride this year. With a rookie quarterback, a first-year head coach, and a 5-11 record last year they were picked to finish in last place in their division. But here we are heading to the AFC Championship game next weekend against our archrival, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

It’s also been stressful. Bryna’s not sure she can take next week’s game against the Steelers. At times, Zack has to leave the room he gets so nervous. I’m emotionally drained after each tension-filled game. But we’ll be in front of the TV next Sunday night. I’ll even be wearing my now lucky Ravens socks.

Touchdown Jesus

I don’t believe God cares who wins football games. If so, Texas Christian University, Brigham Young, and Southern Methodist University would win the National Championship every year and Notre Dame wouldn’t have had such a miserable season. And if God was really concerned about sports, the San Diego Padres would have won at least one World Series.

However, after watching the Super Bowl (and rooting for my second favorite team — the Giants — a very distant second to the Ravens), it was hard not to see the divine hand in that David Tyree catch late in the fourth quarter. First, Eli (a good Biblical name) Manning pulled a Houdini maneuver to get away from the Pats defense. Then Tyree made that ridiculous catch on top of his helmet. Amazing. If you somehow missed it, here it is on youtube: http://www.faniq.com/video/Super-Bowl-XLII-The-David-Tyree-Catch-YouTube-5162,2/sports_featured 

When I was a seminarian at Seabury-Western in Evanston, Illinois, we played an annual flag football game against Nashota House, the Episcopal seminary to our north in Wisconsin. It was known as The Lavabo Bowl (the bowl used by priests to wash their hands before the eucharist). You think seminarians play nice? This was one of the most competitive games I’ve ever been a part of and don’t let the flags fool you. There was plenty of tackling going on. Of course the best part of the game was the pre-kick off liturgy complete with incense, the blessing of the ball, and a special prayer for spleens (one was ruptured during the game a few years back).

I hope the Giants enjoy their victory. They were, ironically enough, big time Goliaths last night. We watched the game at a friend’s house on their big screen TV. Lots of fun, great food, and a stunning ending. What more could you want in a Super Bowl? Besides incense of course.