I don’t often get political here and, well, I’m still not. But if the congressional “Super Committee” was a model for all things “Super,” the world as we know it would be flipped upside down. Here are some examples:
Superman would be reduced to a kryptonite-fearing, pathetic little man curled up in the fetal position on the floor of a phone booth.
Your Super Sized Coke at McDonald’s would come in a shot glass.
Super Tuesday would resemble the Iowa Straw Poll.
The Super 8 Motel would consist of a sleeping bag in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
The Super Dooper Looper roller coaster at Hershey Park would be synonymous with “tea cups.”
The graphics on Super Mario Brothers video games would be on a par with Pong.
The Super Bowl would be as compelling as the Tufts-Middlebury game and the commercials would all be tests of the emergency broadcast system.
The Super Dome in New Orleans would be renamed for former President Bush.
Rick James’ Super Freak would be as hip as your average accountant singing La Bamba at a karaoke bar.
The Super Soaker would be little more than one of those fake squirting flowers clowns wear on their lapels.
That’s all I got — I’m sure you can come up with others and, if so, please post them. Unfortunately this is what happens when I have a day off…