Ode to a Copier

As the Church throughout the world prepares for Holy Week, I offer you a “prayer” that I wrote a few years ago. As anyone who has ever worked in a parish office knows, anything that can go wrong does so in the days leading up to the holiest (and busiest) time of the Church year.

Blessings to all of you who are editing bulletins, writing sermons, riding the copy machine, or are otherwise engaged in helping to make this a most meaningful time of year for your fellow pilgrims on the journey. Enjoy:

Ode to a Copier

A Prayer for Holy Week

Holy Week, dear friends, will soon draw nigh;

From St. Mark’s-in-the-Bowery to Christ Church, Shanghai.

Parish secretaries and their rectors, too,

Thinking of the bulletins that will ensue,

Drop to their knees and begin to quake,

Praying their copiers will stay awake

Through Maundy Thursday and the rest;

Without behaving as if possessed.

Rectors wonder with uncertainty,

“Should I have purchased the extended warranty?”

Misfeeds, toner woes and a paper jam

Always seem to accompany the Paschal Lamb.

Why this happens is a great unknown,

A mystery worthy of the bishop’s throne.

So stoke the incense, say your prayers;

anything to stave off copier repairs.

As the dark shadows of Tenebrae now approach;

may your copier behave without reproach.

And as we begin the Good Friday fast,

May it wait ‘til Low Sunday to breathe its last.

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